At Least I Keep Things Interesting

Don’t ask me why but for some reason the subject of my relationship history just popped into my head. Here’s the scoop… I saw a commercial for a local … er… attraction called Moon Farm on the television and it brought back a whole wave of memories.

In the teeny tiny town where I grew up there was a teeny tiny school and the students of that teeny tiny school had a few guarantees in life. One such guarantee was that certain teachers took their students on the same field trip every year. In the fifth grade we went to Camp Redcloud. Mr. W took his Colorado History class all over Western Colorado, starting on Main Street Dysfunction Junction and winding our way through the mountains to end with a dip in the Ouray Hot Springs pool. And the first grade class always went to Moon Farm

Moon Farm… is totally off subject and therefore the topic for another blog on another day…. sooooo….

Anyway, all this thinking about the trips we took when I was a child led me to thinking of all the things that happened on those trips. And in our four days at Camp Redcloud I got my first real boyfriend. And this is where things get weird. My best friend also got a boyfriend that week. The same one. And we were both totally cool with it. Nick was an emo indie kid before being an emo indie kid was cool. He even had emo indie kid hair. In fact, judging from the Jejune Stars video, he had Conor Oberst hair, right down to the rat tail (P.S. I JUST remembered the tail AS I was typing this sentence).

And the weird with Nick didn’t just stop with him “dating” both Becky and me … she gave up on him after a short while, deciding he really did like me better. I can’t really remember much of it except that it was odd and the end came when he simply didn’t show up to school one day and I found out his dad had found them and his mom packed up him and his little brother in the middle of the night and ran away.

Michael was 17 when I was 13. We camped in my cousin’s front yard, drank beer, listened to Live, Nine Inch Nails, Morrissey and James. All Over You by Live was “our song.” My parents put up with it until he turned 18 then they freaked. Dad threatened to call the cops. Haven’t spoken to him since.

Thomas called me to tell me my boyfriend and his best friend, John, was breaking up with me. Two hours later, we were a couple. A week before that Becky (yep, same one) had made me do the same thing…break up with Thomas for her. Six months later, he was dating my other best friend and cousin. Cheated on all three of us the whole time. Also the second in a long line of long distance relationships (John before that).

Met Brandon at a rodeo where the cheerleaders (don’t judge me) were selling popcorn. Exchanged phone numbers. Talked every day for a couple of weeks. He came back to visit me one day, we made out for a while, he told all of my friends he was chased by evil monkeys, I never saw him again.

Thomas Number 2… Didn’t really ever even date this guy. Not exactly sure what happened. He was a “troubled youth” come to town to stay with his aunt and get away from the big city. Met him through her foster daughter and we hit it off pretty well. Had a few good long chats. He was my first swing partner. My parents didn’t like him… see above. He came by our house one day after a big fight with his aunt, needed someone to talk to. Kissed me. I told him I didn’t like him that way. Not sure what happened after that. He disappeared and the friend who introduced him went psycho on me. Haven’t talked to her since either.

David and I were close friends from the time we were ten until we started dating at 16. Long distance relationship number 4. He was my first. We were together for about a year and a half through 17th and 18th birthdays, both of our Junior proms, and my Senior prom. I had applied to Kansas State University and Augustana College and was waiting on a final decision from both of them when he informed me we’d be moving to South Carolina a week after graduation. Didn’t ask if it was what I wanted to do just said this is how it’s going to be. I decided I wasn’t ready for that and told him so. A month later, at prom, it sunk in. He threw a fit in front of all my friends and left, leaving me stranded. Haven’t talked to him since (seeing a pattern?)

Joe. I do still talk to Joe. We met at freshman orientation, went to the drive in the weekend before classes started, made out during the movie. Had the exclusive conversation, decided it wasn’t what we wanted and now he calls me an ex. He dated a model, spent a semester in Hawaii with her, she cheated on him with another girl, he cheated on her with me… We are still friends.

I’ve already rehashed and rehashed the Steven insanity. Ryan… emails me to ask if I knew where any good parties were. Responded I didn’t but was sure we could find one. Didn’t hear another word for a couple of months. Emailed me to ask if I was going to Warped Tour. Responded I wasn’t, was he going to AFI. Nothing. Almost a year later he emails me again, we start chatting in email, then on Yahoo. Some idle chit chat, some a little deeper, some explicit lyrics. He texted me from a bar cause he was bored, I drunk texted him cause I was hot… He asked if we slept together was I going to go crazy… haven’t talked to him since. LOL

And that’s my entire relationship history in a nutshell. At least I manage to keep things interesting.


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