This is the Sound of Settling

Thanks to Ben Gibbard and Death Cab for Cutie for today’s title.

Returning once again to the 50 Questions that will Free Your Mind, today’s question is Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

The answer is yes and now. I am working on the first part. I have some issues that I have to work through but mostly… I am making efforts to get people to know about my publishing company and my book. I am balling up my neurotic and irrational fear that I suck as a writer and am therefore a giant fraud and attempting to get it to stay stuffed deep in the back of the sock drawer (it still crawls out occasionally). I am trying to get more involved with Tranquilizer Records, writing reviews and things. I even briefly considered offering to do a radio show…buuuuutttttt

The problem is that I am doing a lot of the things I think I have always wanted to do with my life but none of them are paying gigs. Unfortunately, a “labor of love” does not pay bills.

And honestly, if I could surmount the hatred I have for the people I work with and the idiocy of the customers, I would probably enjoy my job job. Got to play with the company website today. That was super fun until it stopped cooperating (freaking REALLY??? I did the exact same thing on the previous four pages why THE HELL isn’t it working on THIS page?! And the beauty part was it wasn’t even that I was coding wrong or anything that easy to fix. I was rewording. the. text.)

Meanwhile, I am bound and determined, if I have to freaking hitchhike, I am going to Chicago in December. Some people love small town life. Knowing your neighbors, knowing how to give directions to ANYWHERE and being able to get to that same anywhere in ten minutes or fewer. I love the city. I’ve decided I want to go to as many as I can. I think that’s what I’d do if I had infinite amounts of money. Actually, more than that, I’d probably follow a band (*coughKillHannahcough* except after the fourth or fifth city, they’d probably put me to work hehe) around the world and then use that experience to pick cities I wanted to go back to. Sounds like a brilliant life.

Ooooh tour blogger? Yesplease.


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