Day 29 and a very merry unbirthday

Day 29 – The night of your 21st birthday

Alpha Sigma Alpha is a “dry” sorority.

What that means, basically, is that we are not allowed to attach our name to events with alcohol. We are not allowed to have alcohol present at sorority events. We don’t wear shirts or jackets with our letters on them into bars (sports bars/gastropubs are a slightly different situation).

We have one week, each semester, we refer to as Dedication Week. There are some stricter rules during Dedication Week but one of the biggies is not to drink. Not at a bar, not at home, not at dinner in a restaurant…

It begins at midnight (12:01 a.m., to keep things from getting fuzzy) on Monday morning and ends at 12:01 a.m. on the first morning of the following week (usually Sunday but once or twice it was Saturday).

My 21st birthday – November 2, 2001 – was that last day of that week.

At 12:01 a.m., four of my sorority sisters and my flaming crush/one-who-got-away convened at the bar and they each bought me their own “favorite drink.”

Except for my crush, who got smart.

See, he was there with his then-girlfriend and my Sister. Because everyone knew but no one ever talked about the fact that he and I were attracted to one another on a kind of idiotic level.  She would never have come out for my birthday (we really weren’t that close) if he hadn’t wanted to come and he wouldn’t have had an excuse if it hadn’t been for her. So they came. Together.

It was my 21st birthday but she was the one who had to have help getting home.

Sister #1 bought me a Ruby Slipper. Take a small cherry 7up and drop into it a shot of Crown Royal. Drink quickly. Repeat because it’s like candy.

Sister #2 bought me a Midori Sour. Melon liqueur, various fruit juices, sour mix, spiffy teal green hue. Not terrible.

Crush bought me a Blow Job.

Kahlua, Irish cream, whipped cream, shot glass, lewd instructions for how this particular shot should be applied internally. All found here

Step one: Pick up glass.

Step two: Tip head back.

Step three: Allow just enough time for alcoholic beverage to fill mouth.

Step four: Drown.

Because it is at this point when the object of your attraction who is mutually attracted to you and not particularly interested in concealing it – not even from his girlfriend slash your Sister – applauds your abilities, comparing you to a “pro.”

Frankly, I don’t remember what everyone else bought for me to drink. Not because I was inebriated but because I was mortified at having nearly drowned in a sticky, sweet, girly drink.

Last call came and we discussed what to do next. It was decided that one of my sisters would take the other (girlfriend) home because one was tired and had a kid waiting for her and the other was already looking a little green around the gills – and who could blame her, really. Her boyfriend brought her out so he could flirt with her sorority sister… Kind of a jack ass move really but since she wasn’t one of my favorite people and he was, I let it slide.

The rest of us were headed to a house party where things like last call didn’t exist and some of our other sisters were already waiting for us. The other two sisters were riding together (one had been drinking, the other not) and I would ride with him.

Happy Birthday to me.

Except, although we had never had any trouble connecting before, being alone with him in his car, I suddenly forgot how to do basic things like speak. What are words? He asked about music I liked, I did that thing where I forgot every band I’d ever heard of… We tried to play a little getting to know you better and about five minutes into it gave up and rode the rest of the way in silence.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was how I celebrated 21.

Now ask me about the shenanigans of 22…


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