Sometimes I feel like the odd girl out.
I spend a lot of time floating around on Facebook and there are a few recurring themes that tend to follow me around. Politics, especially as we approach Orwellian dystopia, cats, and this idea that people and society are to avoided at all cost but if they must be approached, they should be approached with an air of obligation and disdain.
I am disheartened by this thinking.
I love people. I am terrible at making small talk and I generally prefer to hang out and observe but I love being around people.
I am an extrovert, which, if you are to believe the majority of Facebook/social media memes, makes me not only the exception but somewhat of a social pariah. Like my desire to get out and socialize and to watch people being people and to be surrounded by people of all types makes me some kind of freak.
The ideas of seclusion, of self-imposed exile, of shunning both pants and various undergarments in favor of hiding from the world not only do not appeal to me, they make me very sad. As an extrovert, the more I am locked in away from people, the more I feel the effects on my body. I become physically tired and completely drained of energy and, likewise, motivation – in much the same way introverts explain how they feel after being around people for extended periods of time. I find myself growing irritable, moody, cranky, whatever you want to call it, exponentially, the longer I am sequestered away from people.
So, when I see Facebook meme after meme after meme talking about the desire to stay in, with head under covers, and do literally nothing but watch 18 straight hours of Netflix, I become a little – irrationally, I’m sure – angry and even a little hurt. Yes, it genuinely hurts my feelings to see so many people in my life, in my friends circles, who seem to hold extreme animosity toward all of the things on which I thrive.
I don’t even, really, need to interact with people when I leave the house. As long as there are people wherever I am going.
People ask me why I go to so many concerts. The answer is, partly, I don’t. Not really. Not in comparison to how many I would like to go to. And the second part of that answer is that I just really like being around all of the people. I enjoy the crowd. I like the chaos and the intense surges of energy. I even like the powerful emotions, which as an empathic extrovert, I can feel in tangible waves (In real life, those types of intense emotions make my brain hurt but at a concert, they are different forms of intense emotion).
I’m not sure what any of this was intended to say. I just had to say it. I am a little injured by knowing that so many people I know don’t like people the way I do. It’s ridiculous. They aren’t saying they don’t like ME when they say that, just that they don’t want to join me when I just go hang out and observe a crowd of people doing all their peopley things – from the inspiring to the foolish to the ridiculous to the infuriating.